A Flash Bit of Kit

Noely @YaThinkN has knickers rightly in a knot after a tsunami of Bondi wave proportions beat down upon her tweeted enquiry, why wasn’t Bridget McKenzie short listed for Nats leadership?

“She’s a senator, stupid” was the gist of the indignant but misconceived wave. But nobody offered the backwash as to why this was a breakwater consideration.

Thosby asked his drover’s dog, who went off digging in the yard and returned with a bone of apparent contention, dropped it on the carpet, and hacked from the nether region of his throat that sounded for all the world like: “ack, ack, acchhh, gaak, John Gorton.”

A senator can be PM, but the House of Representatives is more effective a place them to be.

So the Flash Bit of shotgun-toting Kit (SMH http://bit.ly/2CmE9OM) could, if elected, potentially be Deputy Dawg, but would then be faced with the logistics of moving her Flash Bit of Ass somehow to the Reps.  Not for the faint-hearted in these days of impending neolib seat deficit.

And assuming the constitution is as vague regarding the Deputy PM as it is with t’other.

Trumble Troubles

Reports are filtering in from The Land of the Wooden Ham of a successful encounter in Warshington involving Trumble the Sycophant and Agent Orange.

In matching twinsets they posed in studied spontaneity. Meanwhile, the tall wife effected attending an entirely different function while the short wife impersonated a third wheel.

The Trumbles were greeted by the The Golden Wrecking Ball accompanied by his Ball and Chain on the White House south lawn that had been cleared of the sound of crickets the previous day.

An awkward fifteen second silence alarmed the media puddle, but was POTARD backing up his brain to the cloud. His buffered cogitations then spewed forth:

The relationship we have with Australia is a terrific relationship and probably stronger now than ever before, maybe because of our relationship, our friendship, … We’re working on … all of the things that you would think we would be discussing today. A lot of good things will come out of this visit,”

…explained the leader of the free world and the most powerful man on Earth, in a rare burst of articulateness.


A horseless carriage crashed into a barrier near the White House causing it to go into lockdown, as all brave Commanders in Chief do at the sound of any startling noise. Sneezes have been known to invoke DEFCON 2. A Trumble spokesman said the AFP said the Secret Service said the car crash had no “impact” on the prime minister. So, as well as missing him, it also didn’t affect him.

Trumph also said he adored Oz’s immigration practices.

We will hopefully follow in your footsteps,” said The Tangerine Palatine, talking about Australia’s tough “merit-based” immigration policies.

And silly old Throsby imagined Nauru and Manus detention camps were inspired by Guantanamo Bay.

Meanwhile, from 16 thousand kilometres distant, came the sound of proudly popping buttons from the chest region of Brother Potato’s Hugo Boss attire.

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